Dear 15 year old Me

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My summer semester of college is always one of the most fun, yet stressful times of the year for me. The fun part is that school is only two hours a day and there is a heck of a lot more time that I can devote to myself and my passions. However, the stressful part is that the semester is only 7 weeks long, so I really have to learn the material in time for the test/final exams. 
Today I have been studying non-stop for my upcoming Mid-term in Sociology of Pop Culture. Of course after about two hours my brain was tried of reading Noam Chomsky (as amazing as he is there is only so much of him that I can take). Naturally, I was distracted my the glories of the Internet and wanted to kill some time--and that's when I came across one of my old journal entries. 
I used to regularly post journal entries on my DeviantART all the time in high school (especially during my 2nd year). First and foremost...I have to say after reading a few of my old entries...I have come to the conclusion that I was the whiniest, most angsty piece of emo-punk "fuck" society crap ever! 
God--every entry was more whinny then the last! Anyways, there was one entry that stuck out to me--one that really hit me hard. I forgot how little I thought of myself back in high school, and how little I saw in my own intelligence and abilities. One entry titled "Reality Checks" was basically a stream of thought entry I wrote about the stress of college and the reality that high school will end and that college will begin. 
At that time in my life, I thought that I was the dumbest bum on the planet. I honestly thought that I wasn't smart enough to go to college. I was 15 at the time that I wrote that entry and at 17 I still remember feeling terrible about myself. I wasn't exactly the best student in high school. Not because I did drugs or party, but I had this rebel mentality about authority and "institutions". I used to spike up my hair and lace up my combat boots and walk down the halls thinking "Damn I'm such a badass" or whatever angsty thought.
Back to the main point: That journal entry was a reminder of how far I have actually come in my life and looking back on my past self I have to say that I am proud of the person I am today writing this current entry. 
This is one of the most overdone literacy devices but I feel that I owe my younger self some bit of information about the future. 
Dear 15 year old Tiffany, 
This is 19 (almost 20) year old Tiffany here and I wanted to tell you that we made it! We are in college and everything is awesome! Listen, I know that we weren't exactly the brightest kid in high school, and you were right about one thing: High school is not for everyone. All those standardized tests and standardized "this" and "that". We aren't standardized people you and I, so we didn't do so well. I don't blame you for being scared about getting into college and about the future. Honey, for the past ten years of your schooling the most important question you had to ask was if you could use the bathroom or not. Then all of the sudden people are expecting you to be asking about your entire future. That is a lot of stress to put on a 15 year old--trust me, I was here :P
However, you should never belittle yourself. Tiffany, you are smart. Your just smart in your own way, and frankly that "way" is outside of the standardized "fill-in-the-bubble" test.
In college, your a honor student with a 3.8 GPA. You made the Dean's List every semester since you attended college at GSU. You wanna know why? Because college looks for people who are hard-working and people who are able to think outside of the scan tron sheet. You never stopped working hard your whole time in high school, but you felt like all that hard work that you put into school wasn't showing the results that you were hoping for. I know how frustrating that must have been for you, but I want you to know that everything does work out in the end and that you are happy. You are happier now then you have ever been in your life. All the stress of high school is like a dream to now. I know that everything must seem so stressful for you right now, but I promise you that it will all pass and you will become a successful student.  However, you have to work hard and never forget that you are smart--your just in the wrong time and place. Never give up on your goals. 
P.S. We didn't go into Art. I'm actually a Sociology Major now and thinking of going into Law School. That's another thing: Life will throw you unexpected twist. Don't be afraid to branch out and try new things! 
Anyways, Take Care for now! 
All my Love, 
19 year old Tiffany 

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