Insert Name Here

My name is Samuel Mathews Jr. I was named after my father, Samuel Mathews Senior. I grew up in Stone Mountain, Ga and i was raised there my whole life. Everyday since i was eight years old i have been volunteering at the local clinic as either a cleaner of some sorts, or i would pay visits to the patients to keep them company. I also cared for my sick grandmother until her very last breath in that same hospital. I'm a devoted son and Christian, and if i had the choice i would love to spend the rest of my life helping people. However, none of that matters today. because today, Samuel Mathews Jr. will be dead, and I will be assigned a new name.
It was a quiet and solemn Saturday mourning as I walked into this unfamiliar high school. Until i approached the doorway. There was this line of kids, all my age standing in an orderly line (talkative line)...waiting. I guess today was a pretty busy day for the application process. We were all assigned a room based on our former surnames. I was to report to room 289.
As expected the room was totally filled, and than walked in a woman.
"Good Mourning Class.", she said in an almost too enthusiastic greeting, "My name is Ms. Masters UGA, and i will be your portor for today."
She paused for a brief moment and continued, "Ok, Everyone please turn to page 3 in your books and read the following to yourself as i read aloud."
Ms. UGA took another pause to make sure everyone was on the right page and she started up again.
"Hello and welcome to The Standard Application for Tile, otherwise known as the SAT. This is a standard process to determine your new name and identity. After your application has been scored and the scores are in your poession than your current name will no longer be needed. This is the processes that will help your new homes determine who you are in an easy and orderly way. Now, you may use only a number two pencil and a scientific calculator. Any other material is prohibit-"
Yes yes, i have heard all this thousand times over. This is where i zone out. I hope i get into a good home. I would love it if UGA adopted me. Ms. Masters UGA is so lucky, however, not as lucky as my Math teacher, Mr. PHD Harvard. How he ever ended up teaching Math is beyound me.
Ms. UGA spoke for another five mintues and finally she put her booklet down. She looked directly at all of us and gave us a senser smile. "Good lucky everyone, Take your time."
And so it began.

I finished the essay with no problem (writing is my best subject), however, when i got to the math. I don't remember learning any of this. Ok, just focus. "if a train leaves station A at five o' clock and arrives at the station B at six o'clock, and the is travleing at a velocity of 50 m/s, than what is the conductors shoe size?
A. size 12
B. size 15 (Eupoean)
C. Size 20
D. size 2
E. The conductor doesn't wear shoes.

I have no clue. Ok, Ok....just...skip that one...go to the next one...

Looking at circle A the midpoint of circle A intersects with line ED. Line ED is 180 degrees, however, only on every other Tuesday. What is the radius of that circle today?
A. 30
B. 1000
C.200 (Mayan Calender)
D. 500
E.39
I have no sinkin idea. Well, you answered B a lot, let's go with hmmmm....C? Ok, yea C.

25 mins later...

"Please put your down your pencils. Now, turn over to section 7 in your test booklet. You guys are doing great, just a couple more sections and you'll be home free."
Yea, right. Well, at least this is a reading section. How bad can it be?

Read the following passage and answer the questions that follow.

Aristotle (2400 Athens Academe) was born in Satgia Greece. Blah blah blah blah blah Great philosopher blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah teaching helping form our modern day government system of democ-blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah....HUUUUUUUUUUU..............blah blah blah....I'M SO HUNGRY.........BLAH

Answer questions 1-85

Did 2400 Athens Academe like bunnies?

A. Yes, only on some day
B. No, he never cared for bunnies
C. Maybe, if he was not hungry
D. Yes, only when he was hungry
E. he preferred dogs


........ HUH?
One Hour Later.


"Please put your application forms in your booklet, and i will come and collect them."

It's over. Oh 2400-Christ! I hope i did well!

After the Standard Application for Tiles Exam was over, i return to my life as Samuel Mathews Jr. for the last few months. I went back to the Clinic everyday as usual, however, i did not ignore by school work. Mrs. Masters UAL's essay on President Self-Educated Lincoln, and of course i couldn't forget my Modern Physics project on Atom Theory Brooklyn College (John Dalton). I at least wanted my middle name to be something special, if my new name wasn't good enough. If i could get my middle name to be at least 3.7 than that could get me adopted. I want to be a doctor like my father, Dr. PHD Yale, because all i want to do is help others and be the best person i can be. I just hope that is enough.

2 months later

The Prenpical got on the speaker, and i knew today was the day. This was adoption day.
"All Seniors, please report to the front office to be judged and given your new identity."

I'm scared. Samuel Mathews Jr. is scared. I walk down the halls, and i don't speak to anyone. Samuel Mathews Jr. doesn't speak to anyone. As i walk into the office room, i'm companied with twenty more of my classmates. They all seem so confident, so sure of themselfves. Samuel Mathews Jr. is not. We stood like this for a quiet a while, unknowing of when or what our new name was. Samuel Mathews Jr. was unsure. Suddenly the dorrs brust opened and a woman from the administration office stormed in the in with a stack of papers in her hands. She spoke in a high-pitched voice that seemed to echo through the entire office room. She walked quickly and sharply handling out own new identification papers.

"Sara Johnson, here you go...or should i say little Ms. 2350!" As the woman siad that 2350's face lit up in an instant. I'm certain that she would get adopted.
"Jason Peterson, Your new name is 1780. Not not not bad."
She's right, that's not a bad name at all. However, he doesn't have to worry, he is a great football star. Colleges love to adopt kids that can through a ball.
The list goes on and on. George became 1972, Alex was now 1845, but none was better than Katie Nowton. Katie Nowton was now 2400 on the dot. But what was Samuel Mathews Jr.?
Finally when it was my turn, the administrtion lady took a pause, and stared at the sheet of paper for a moment. Than she spoke, "Samuel Mathews Jr."
She didn't even bother to look at me, she just handed the paper without any comment or words of congrulation...period. When i looked at my new name, I think i was going to have a heart attack. My name is now 1350. 1350 3.5 Stone Mountain High School. i'm gone. Samuel Mathews Jr. is gone.

After everyone recived their new names, the adoption process could began. A series of adults began to flood the room. It was like a hurricane of papers and suit cases. All of them just like the other, they traveled in groups, or rather like packs of them. They asked us each and eveyone of us divdiulaly the same question over and over.
"what is your name?" one of the men asked me. i looked at him. 1350 looked at him. He looked back at me. He was clearly getting impatsent. I answered very softly, "Samuel Mathews Jr."
For a moment he looked at me in dibeeif, than he spoke, "No, i need your new name. I don't care to know that one."
Samuel Mathews Jr. didn't matter. I looked away for a moment and tried a different approch, "Well...I do a lot a work down at the clinic and  have been doing so since i was eight years-old. I was born and raised here in GA and my favorite subject is history and maybe one day I-"
he intrujected, "look, all that is wrothless to me. I asked you a simple question. What is your name? That is all the information I need to tell who you are as a human being"
There was no pleasing him. "My name is 1350 3.5 Stone Mountain High School."
He gave that same stare as the adminstraion woman. It took him a while to speak, it was as if he could not comprehend what i just said. I could tell he was trying to produce an answer.
"Hmmm...We'll get back to you on that."

He never did. He never got back to both of us.




Epilogue: Summer

After Adoption day was over, i decided to just go back to my usual mundane work as a volunteer. 1350 went back. That was the last summer that I seriously could dedicate my time before i had to go on the scerach for another college to adopt me. Maybe i could go back and apply for a new name. 1350 wanted a new name.
"1350! your break is over!", Nurse GA State called to me.
"I'll be right there."
"Hey, 1350. could you do me a favor? I have to leave earlier today, could you look after the patent in room 158 for me?"
"Of course." I replied.
"great. Thanks again."
When i entered the room, there was an old lady laying almost half asleep on the hospital bed. She looked up at me and smiled.
"What a handsome young man."
"Oh, thank you." I blushed.
"Are you here to keep me company today?"
"Yes, i one of the volunteers here."
"That's wonderful. How very kind of you. You know, most young men your age wouldn't be in here....you have a good heart."
"Thank you. Thank you very much."
"How rude of me, might i ask your name?"
I hesitated, "My name is 1350 Stone Mountain High"
Her smile turned into a frown and she looked away from me.
"But...you can call me Samuel Mathews Jr."
She looked up again and gave my hand a nice sweeze.
"What a lovely name, for a lovely person."
I think i felt a tear roll down my cheek, I was so happy. Samuel Mathews Jr. was happy.